Sir Badger - Colin Cooper
Nickname: Sir Badger
Zwift Course: Sand and Sequoias & Richmond
Music/Band: Audiobooks & Podcasts
Fave TV/Movie: The X-Files - Life of Brian
IRL Bicycles: Pinarello Dogma, Pinarello Asolo, PK Ripper
Years Cycling: 45+
Began on Zwift: 2015
Why do you Cycle?: Its the best feeling...
Founder of SAS Cycle Club, began racing BMX in the late 70's, competed in Track, Mtn Bike, Criterium & Club Road Championships for over 35yrs. Badger is a member of RCC, a certified 'Les Mills' & Martial Arts Instructor.
A keen supporter of 'Childrens Cancer Institute' he is on the event committee of their 12hr bicycle ride. SAS have competed since 2017. Badger also enters SAS into the 'Great Cycle Challenge' each year. He is passionate about helping the Homeless and Childrens Cancer Research.
Another SMUG-Pie Christmas
By Badger (2019)
TEAM SAS began life as a dream
Dreamt up by the Badger in 2016
It began with a few mates, a bike ride with Fanta
Its 2019 and we’ve now added banter!
To most of our members, SMUG’s poem is a dream
But some were reaching for their haemorrhoid cream
All this talk of Badgers dirty great hole
And all of that Sprinting had taken its toll
He needed a holiday to visit old Blighty
To visit some mates, parade in his nighty
Badger flew round the globe to his Merit
he drove up to Yorkshire, to meet Blakey & Ferret
They sipped tea and talked about Zwift of all things
And the joy that Cycling indoors can bring
But time flew by and they needed to munch
So, Badger and Blakey stayed on for lunch
Ferret had scampered off in the dark
We found him doing burnouts in the carpark!
His hotted up Beamer was louder than loud
And not before long he entertained a whole crowd
The SAS World Tour had begun
London, Sheffield and Barnsley old Chum!
Then on to Whitby, we drove there by car
We caught up with Brian the hula-hoop star
He took us all over Whitby to look,
Chips with Pea’s, Ice Cream and a photo with Cook
That’s Captain James Cook to those that don’t know
He’s slimmer than PUGWASH who’s starting to show.
Then Badger rode Brian’s Zwift Bike like mad
2 weeks off Zwift, made old Badger sad
He tried the new course, it was called Titans Grove
Brian’s bike was much smaller, but onwards he rode
But the time had come for Badger to leave
He was so upset, he wiped snot down his sleeve
He had to get back to his South Yorkshire patch
To catch up with Hoppo at a big football match
Barnsley vs Sheffield United at one
Hoppo and Badger to Football they’d come
They watched the match from the Oakwell stands
With a cup of Hot Tea in their Zwifty warm hands
But Hoppo couldn’t come party with me
Tomorrow was Sunday a 160k TT
Badger was waterboy for the day
Hoppo doing 40, four hours I say!
Then on to Rapha to buy some new gear
he’d require a mortgage, that was his fear
But he only bought an RCC Tee
It looked great in Black,
he should have bought three!
Next stop Zwift London HQ if you please,
Harrods, Big Ben on the way at a squeeze.
Into the building, lovely flowers that were yellow,
He walked into Zwift and saw an Orange Pinarello
He said to his guide, ‘Orange? That’s a sin!’
The Guide said ‘No it ain't, it belongs to Eric Min’
He really did feel rather lousy and slack
But he preferred his Pinarello’s to come in matte black
Badgers trip to England had come to an end
Travelling the country in a Mercedes-Benz
Thankfully this time he flew business class
London to Sydney sat on his ass!
So back to SAS Central he flew
He went to bed early but woke up at two
It was a long way, but he felt alive
He happily joined SMUG-Pies SUB 2.5
He just couldn’t wait to get off the sofa
For SUB 2.5 with Arnie and Gopher
Vance rides at 6 and Alex at 7
Badger was back in his weekly Zwift heaven!
2019 has been a year to remember
A blink of an eye, it’s already December
But we’ll try to give this great year a wrap
It looks almost as good, as Badgers flat cap!
Namaste Here has been heard 300 times
Mrs Badger at Yoga, nothing else rhymes?
Gra Gra has had his crown stolen all year
Losing it to SMUG-Pie is his greatest fear
Wanda, Mez and Lynda, look great in Blue
Monique and SMUG-Pie the SAS Crew!
Our ladies are the best, they’re just pure class
Join an SAS Sprint and they’ll kick your ass!
And then there’s the lads, I’ll mention them too
They decided on black not our SAS Blue
There’s Wado, Jono and Lachlan and Ross
To wear anything else would be a total loss
Badger posted these jerseys with #SASLove
Rapha Pro Custom kit and all of the above.
It all went to plan, nothing went amiss
To Guernsey Island Mr Hoppo that’s Chris!
Our Tech Guru Barry with his helpful tips
And Glenn his fellow countryman, Who, we’ve nicknamed ‘CHIPS’
Halfway across the Tasman somewhere deep in the sea,
Fish & Chips becomes FUSH & CHUPS they’ve been telling me
And Alex attempted Le Etape Australia
He turned up all fresh in SAS Regalia
But once the ride started he began to plod
It was either the beer or his new found DAD Bod!
We picked up new sponsors along the way
It made Badger proud we do have to say
Dynamic Cyclist, Infinity Bike Seat
2019 a year to repeat!
And then there is Sloth who has gone missing again
He’s Swimming and Running but not in the pen!
But there’s definitely so much more fun to poke
With an SAS Ride and a few good Dad Jokes!
Why did the Wombat cross the road?
To visit his Flat mate I heard and I glowed
These jokes are so funny as I sip my beer
But nothings as funny as ‘NAMASTE HERE’
And now to the party, as SMUG-Pie explained
It was at Badgers house in the pouring down rain
People trudged through the house, with mud on their shoes
A dirty Axminster it was almost brand new!
Mrs Badger had returned from her Yoga Class
And screamed ‘Off of my rug or I’ll boot your fat arse’
Pugwash apologised, down on one knee
Gra Gra, sticky bottle with some Earl Grey Tea
I don’t like your tone Gra Gra said with a tear
As Badger walked in and screamed ‘NAMASTE HERE!’
It’s the three hundredth time you’ve heard this war cry
He’s very committed, a passionate guy
And that just leaves SAS-TIVE 500
A week full of 50’s and Hoppo’s 200
It’s the best way to end our SAS Year
With a shitload of Spinning and a couple of beers!
from Badger x x x
A VERY SMUG NEW YEAR - (2018)
by BADger 🦡
T’was the week after Christmas and SMUG-Pie was beat,
Rapha Festive 500, eight days in the seat.
SMUG-Cat stared as she came through the door
The cat felt orphaned, not loved anymore.
Clickety Clack went her cleats down the hall
Missing the sales down at Bourke Street Mall.
Over at Wombats not a sound could be heard,
Whilst BADger ate toast and Lemon Curd.
No Canyon Aeroad made Sloth a sad man
He began to surmise, Christmas could be a sham?
As Ratty Matt tried on his new cycling cap,
The baby’d stopped crying through Watopia Flat.
Whilst Queen Bee was searching for honey to eat,
3 Beers was tipsy and off of his feet.
Gopher Dave paid to join Salt and Sham
Another late show for Ghengis McGahan
Whilst James spun some vinyl and blasted The Cure
Barry competed in a local Randonneur
And that just leaves Glenn who has no nickname.
The SAS Crew are totally to blame.
Now we can look forward to SAS 760
Trying to rhyme that would be rather risky
SMUG-Pie has gone on her yearly vacay
SMUG-cat is turning their tree into hay.
The trusty two Daves, Wombat and Gopher
Are sat on their saddle’s, instead of the sofa.
Sloth’s watching football ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone’
Whilst Glenn and James ride themselves to the bone.
Ghengis is Sprinting on the LaGuardia Course
Barry is eating a meat pie with sauce
Stateside 3 Beers scoffs the last bits of ham
Queen Bee trains to join Canyon SRAM
And that just leaves BADger and you know what he’s like
Spends more time on Facebook instead of the bike
Now Christmas is over for another year
From all at SAS, have a Zwifting New Year !